Accidental Romance Read online

  Frowning, she said, “Better. Keep working on it. As long as you don’t walk like a cave man, I think you’ll be alright.” She then walked over to her closet and said, “Let’s find something for you to wear. You look to be about my size. I’ll loan you one of my bras until we can buy you a few of your own, but you’re not getting any of my panties.”

  While she rummaged through her closet, I posed and primped in front of her mirror. I simply could not believe what I saw. I kept focusing on my eyes. I was so alluring. So smoking hot.

  Steph finally finished with the closet and set some clothes down on her bed. She went to her dresser and rummaged around and finally removed a white bra. She tossed that on the bed and asked, “How hairy are your legs? I thought you’d look cute in a denim mini skirt.”

  I wrinkled my nose as if I detected a foul odor. “A skirt? Really? This seems to be a lot of new things for one day.”

  “You don’t have to,” shrugged Steph. “But I think you’d look cute in a skirt and if you’re going on a big date with one of the hottest guys on the planet tomorrow night wearing a cocktail dress, so I’d think you’d want to learn as much as possible about being a girl. That’s just me, I guess. My dad just dropped you on me cold, so I’m trying to help you out. If you don’t want my help, then just say so. I thought you might have some fun shopping with my dad’s credit card. If you’re exposed while on a date, you’ll hurt your friend Nathan and ruin his career, not to mention making my dad angry. Trust me, you don’t want to make him angry.”

  “Okay! Chill. You made your point,” I threw my hands up in defeat. “You’re definitely your father’s daughter.”

  * * *

  I felt silly and exposed walking towards the mall entrance wearing a girl’s tee-shirt and a short denim skirt. The bra was ill-fitting and uncomfortable. The purse hanging off my shoulder and the pink frilly socks and the white tennis shoes were just icing on the cake.

  Before we reached the entrance, where we’d have to run a gauntlet of teens hanging around the entrance, Steph stopped us and asked, “I just thought. What do we call you?”

  Squinting into the low-lying sun, I said, “How about Bobby, since it’s my name.”

  Steph shook her head, “No, that’d be bad. Even if we used the feminine spelling, someone in your home town is bound to say, ‘hey, didn’t that Nathan dude have a friend named Bobby. Funny his girlfriend is named Bobbi, huh. Hey, she looks like Bobby. You don’t suppose… ?’”

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “What’s the name of some of your friends?”

  Steph looked thoughtful for a moment and then her face brightened as she reached out and tugged on my hair. “How about Amber? Your golden hair gave me the idea, and I had a friend in high school named Amber.”

  I frowned and said, “Do I look like a rock with a pre-historic mosquito trapped inside?”

  “No, but the more I think about it, the more I like it,” she said with a grin. She then took my hand and tugged me towards the mall. “Come on, Amber. There’re some clothes in here with your name on them.”

  We entered the mall at a brisk pace. I was waiting to hear a chorus of laughter at the sight of me, but there were no jeers and finger pointing or children asking their mother why that man was in a dress. More disturbing were the stares I was getting from the young men we passed by.

  “There’s a store here that has the cutest clothes,” said Steph as she grinned over her shoulder. “I think we can get most of what we need from there for now. And then we need to go to this great bridal and formal shop. It’s where I got my prom dress.”

  “Sounds expensive,” I said.

  “That’s what Daddy’s credit card is for!” laughed Steph.

  As we passed one clothes store, someone called out, “Hey, Steph!”

  Steph stopped and turned. “Megan! Hey guys. What ‘cha doing?”

  Four girls around Steph’s age walked up to us. They were all dressed much like we were, either denim shorts or skirts, tank tops or tees. This was going to be my acid test. These were the experts at being nineteen year old girls. Even though I was older, I was trying to pass for twenty so Nate wouldn’t look like a perv or Woody Allen for dating a teen.

  “Just out shopping,” answered Megan. She looked over at me, appeared to be sizing me up. “How about you?”

  Steph smiled and said, “Same thing! I’m helping her buy some new outfits. Guys, this is Amber. She’s from Texas.”

  “Hey guys,” I said, smiling and trying to feel confident in a short skirt and make-up.

  Megan smiled back. There was nothing in her face to suggest that she didn’t think I was anything other than what I was presenting myself to be. I was glad no one could see the trickle of sweat rolling down my back. With a self-conscious grin, Megan said, “Hi Amber. I’m Megan.” Then she started pointing to the other three girls. “This is Jenny. That’s Samantha, and that’s… well, that’s Amber.”

  Smiling, Amber said, “Maybe we should just call you Tex?” They all giggled like, well, like teenage girls.

  I laughed too. “Sure, if it cuts down on the confusion.”

  Jenny said, “So, do you have a horse and a couple of oil wells?”

  I just said, “Sure. Doesn’t like, everyone?”

  There were some unsure giggles as they weren’t sure if I was serious or not. Before the topic could be explored further, Samantha suddenly sucked in a lungful of air and said in breathy excitement while pointing at me, “That’s her! Guys, that’s her!”

  “Who her?” asked Jenny, looking confused.

  “That girl in the pictures! The one Nathan Adams is cheating on Sharon Swanson with!” Samantha exclaimed.

  The other girls’ eyes went wide as they all suddenly recognized me from the tabloid pictures.

  I narrowed my eyes and frowned. “He wasn’t cheating on Sharon with me.”

  “Oh?” said Megan with a raised eyebrow. “That’s not what Sharon’s been saying on TV.”

  “Nathan broke up with her,” I said. “He… he um just hadn’t told her yet.”

  “Oh my God!” breathed Amber. “For reals? You’re dating Nathan Adams? I have such a crush on him!”

  Megan grinned and said, “Who doesn’t? Oh my God. I can’t believe we’re talking with someone who has kissed him!”

  I frowned again, remembering Nathan’s rather promiscuous life before settling in with Sharon. “Well, it’s not exactly an exclusive club.”

  Jenny grinned wide exposing a set of braces. “Yeah, but wow. We’re all friends with Nathan’s girlfriend. That’s so cool.” Since when did I become friends with these crazy girls?

  Amber narrowed her eyes at me and said, “Yeah, but. You’re like what? Fifteen? Sixteen? And Nathan’s like what? Thirty? Forty? Isn’t that just a little creepy?”

  Jenny looked at Amber and said, “You just said you have a crush on him.”

  “I’m not dating him and I’m nineteen for God’s sake,” Amber exclaimed.

  “Come on guys,” I said, hoping to do some damage control for Nate. “Nate’s not a perv. He’s twenty-five and I’m twenty. It’s all cool.”

  Jenny said, “Oh, you call him Nate, huh?”

  Amber said, “If you’re twenty, I’m the Queen of England!”

  Steph interrupted, “Nice to meet you, your majesty! She’s twenty. Trust me. She just looks fifteen. Anyway guys, Amber… or um, Tex and I still have some shopping to do before my Dad cancels his credit card. Ta ta for now.”

  Megan grinned, “Hey, mind if we tag along? We want to help our new friend who is also dating Nathan Adams get some sexy new outfits too!”

  Steph smiled, “Sure! The more the merrier.”

  I was relieved that I was completely accepted as a peer. If none of these girls doubted my femaleness, then I felt pretty confident no one else would either. What I wasn’t sure of; would I survive shopping with a pack of rabid teen girls?

  * * *

  “Oh my God! I’m like, so worn ou
t!” I said as I slumped into the passenger seat of Steph’s car.

  Steph laughed brightly, “Well, it’s not the first time I’ve had security run me out of a store after closing.” She glanced at the shopping bags in the back seat and said, “Daddy’s gonna be soooo pissed that I spent so much money. But hey, you just started being a girl today, so you needed to catch up.”

  I looked into the backseat and said with a wry smile, “Somehow I don’t think your dad expected you to buy a whole closetful.”

  Steph started counting off on her fingers, “Well, you need something for just casual wear every day, you need to dress like a secretary, you need to dress like a movie star’s girlfriend for even a casual night out for dinner. And I think Megan found you the perfect cocktail dress for tomorrow night.”

  “You don’t think it’s a little short?” I asked. “And it’s strapless. I have no boobs.”

  “We’ll have to work something out,” Steph said confidently. “You did great today. None of my friends suspected you were a guy. I don’t think they believed you were as old as twenty, though. Expect all the gossip rags to have a field day with your age.”

  “Can you use make-up to make me look older?” I asked as Steph started the car and began to leave the mostly empty mall parking lot.

  “Yeah. But why would you want to look older? You’re beautiful now.” Steph concentrated on navigating out of the parking lot and then said, “Have you considered acting? I’ve seen you smile, frown, laugh and scowl. You already have a greater range than Kristen Stewart and look where she is.”

  I laughed and shook my head, “I don’t think I’d be able to withstand the scrutiny that acting would require. No. I’ll put in my time until Nathan returns from making his movie, then we’ll fake a fight and I’ll go back home.”

  “Do you think you could just go back home after being Nathan’s girlfriend?” asked Steph seriously.

  “Well, I’m not really a girl, am I?” I asked. “I have to go back to being me eventually. I enjoyed today, I admit. But it was because it was exotic, something totally different. I’m so afraid I’m going to fuck up and embarrass Nate and myself. And your dad. And even you.”

  “Just have fun, Amber.” Steph took a moment to glance over at me. “Look at it as an adventure that you’ll never repeat. To me and my friends, you’re a girl. And trust me. Tomorrow night, in that dress, you’ll be a girl to Nathan as well.”

  * * *

  As I fumbled my way through the door of Nathan’s house, I heard Nate say, “Well, look what the cat dragged in. You’ve been gone a long time.”

  I set some of the shopping bags down on the floor next to the door and said, “Yeah. Tony’s daughter Steph took me on a shopping expedition.”

  Nate started to say, “Yeah, I just got a call…”

  “Hold on, Nathan,” I said turning towards the door again. “I have a few more items to bring in.”

  Nate sat silently on the couch watching his giant screen TV while I brought in the remaining items. Still caught up in the fog of femininity, I plopped down on the couch right next to Nathan and announced, “Okay, I’m done.”

  Nate looked at me funny for a moment, and then put his arm around my shoulder. “As I was saying, Tony called.” Nate looked at me for a few moments, and said, “You’re very pretty, by the way. Anyway, Tony called to say he got a call from his credit card company wanting to know if his card had been stolen. Apparently you spent a great deal more money than he was expecting.”

  “I’m sorry, Nathan,” I said sincerely. “The dress for tomorrow night was four hundred dollars all by itself. And with Steph’s girlfriends helping me pick out outfits, I guess we got a little carried away.”

  “Yeah,” snorted Nate. “About five thousand dollars worth of carried away.”

  Knitting my brows, I said, “Have you priced women’s clothes lately? The shoes to go with my dress were a little over a hundred all by themselves. I had to have casual and dress shoes for everyday use; not to mention, jeans, skirts, blouses, tops, bras, panties and my own make-up. It’s expensive being a girl. And most girls don’t have to buy their stuff in one lump.”

  “Well, Tony isn’t very happy. He’s talking about raising his percentage to cover costs.” Nathan continued to stare at me as he said, “You know he’s getting you a boob job on Monday, right?”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said. “Oh, that reminds me. Can you give me some money to get my hair done tomorrow before this gala thing? You don’t want me looking like this, do you?”

  Nate shook his head in disbelief, “Sheesh, Bobby. One afternoon as a girl, and you’ve gone totally over to the dark side.”

  “That’s another thing,” I said as slid my head to his shoulder. “Steph thought calling me Bobbi would be a bad idea because it’s too close to my real name. She introduced me to her friends as Amber.”

  “Amber, huh. I need to let Tony know.” Nate turned his attention back to the TV and said, “You know what will complete your slide to womanhood?”

  Frowning, I said, “What?”

  “Gimme a beer.”

  * * *

  “Where are you?” asked Nathan over the cell phone.

  “I just left the salon,” I said as I hurried to a waiting taxi. “They did my make-up too. I should be home in about fifteen minutes. I still need to change.”

  With impatience in his voice, Nathan said, “Well hurry up. The limo will be here in about an hour to pick us up.”

  “I’m hurrying, honey,” I said exasperatedly as I stepped into the taxi. “See you in a bit.” I disconnected the call.

  Every moment, my life just got more and more bizarre. Never in a zillion years would I have ever thought I would spend an afternoon at a salon, getting my hair and make-up done. And my nails. My nails were now gorgeous and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. They didn’t put my hair up though it now seemed fuller with more body. It was a beautiful mane, flowing over my shoulders and down my back. My lips were a pastel rose pink and my eyes smoky and I wore false eyelashes. That felt weird. And even though the make-up would in no way be called heavy and overly done, I could insanely feel it over every inch of my face. I felt like I had a spotlight shining on me, with giant neon arrows pointing at my face.

  In less than an hour and a half, I’ll be arriving at the fanciest hotel ballroom in town wearing a blue strapless sequined mini-dress with matching strappy high heel sandals and matching clutch which only contains my cell phone, compact and a lipstick, arm-in-arm with Hollywood’s most notable bachelor as his date, hob-knobbing with the crème of Tinsel Town. I was so glad my antiperspirant was strong enough for a man.

  I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even notice the cab pulling in front of our… I mean, Nate’s house. I tipped the driver as the cost of the cab was paid for by the Anthony Demarco Talent Agency. I got out of the cab as gracefully as I could.

  As I entered our home, Nathan, wearing his tux, was coming out of the kitchen with a glass of something, saying, “About friggin’ time, Amber! Shit, if I wanted to be late, I could date a real girl.”

  I stopped at the base of the stairs and shouted, “I’m doing you a favor, honey. And don’t you forget it!” I then ran up the stairs to change into my blue cocktail dress. The weight of stress washed over me as I realized that the success of this evening depended solely on me. There was more buzz about me than for Nate and it was supposed to be a big night for him. TMZ.COM already had video on-line of me shopping with the gang from the night before. Do they have cameras everywhere? E! was discussing my age. And everybody wondered where I’d come from.

  I was just supposed to be Nathan’s date at a Breast Cancer fund raiser, but instead of being a side dish, I was becoming the main course. I don’t think either Tony or Nate really liked that. As I put on my dangly diamond earrings, I thought I really should get my ears pierced. I picked up the matching necklace and decided Nate would have to help me with it. For the billionth time this weekend, I thought to myse
lf, Oh my God! I’m having to have my date, a man, help me with something – this time put on a necklace. This is insane.

  I put on my matching bracelet, and a watch that was impossible to tell the time on, picked up my purse and went clicking down the stairs my heels.

  “Amber!” called Nate from the front door. “The limo is here. Are you ready?”

  I said, “I will be as soon as you help me fasten this necklace.”

  “Sure thing,” said Nate as he turned from the door. He stopped and his jaw almost hit the floor. “Holy shit, Amber! You’re stunning… radiant. You’re more beautiful than Sharon ever was. If I wasn’t seeing it, I’d never believe it. Babe, you’re gorgeous!”

  I couldn’t help but blush at his words, and all I could manage was to say in a quiet voice, “Thank you.” As a life-long red-blooded American male, being told you’re gorgeous, radiant and stunning should be greeted with disdain and shame. But I loved it. And somewhere deep inside me, being told that Sharon Swanson wasn’t as beautiful as I was, I was jumping up and screaming, “Yes!”

  Nathan deftly latched the necklace behind my neck. I could hear him sniffing my hair, and when his fingers brushed the back of my neck, I felt a tingle rush down my spine.

  “Shall we go?” Nathan asked as he took my arm and led me to the door.

  * * *

  “I can’t go out there!” Horrified, I looked out the limousine’s window.